


One thing to forget, one thing to remember

by linumlea



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Accident, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, comatose hinata
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 21:33:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8912953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linumlea/pseuds/linumlea
Summary: There are accidents that stop the world from turning. There are accidents that obscure the sun.You can only hope that it will rise someday again.It takes Kageyama a while to understand just what he wants.





	

1.

“Ah!” Hinata springs up from the table. “Curfew! Damn it, my mom will kill me if I’m late again.”

In a blink of an eye he has gathered his notebooks from the table and stuffed them into the bag, bolting through the door to Kageyama’s room.

He is already in his shoes, putting on his coat, when Kageyama catches up with him downstairs. “Thanks for letting me study at your place!” Hinata says, buttoning up. “See you tomorrow!”

With that, he is out of the door, running into the night illuminated by lamps’ light. The lithe snow is falling slowly, softly.

Kageyama is about to close the door when he notices the scarf. He knows it, he has seen it tens of times wrapped around Hinata’s neck. “Oi-” he starts, leaning out of the door again, but there is no one on the street. Hinata is gone.

He sighs and he grumbles and he puts the scarf next to his bag to bring to school the next day. What was that airhead doing, leaving his things all over the place?

 

2.

As he walks through the school in the morning, there are some people taking double looks at him and whispering. He glares at them, confused, but the stares only grow worse the closer he is to Hinata’s classroom.

They had no morning practice that day, so he is expecting to see Hinata sitting at his desk. But it’s empty, and Hinata’s classmates are staring at him too.

Kageyama shuffles his feet, standing by the entrance. “Where is Hinata?” he asks. He doesn’t know what it’s all about when Hinata’s classmates look among each other and no one speaks up.

“Where is-” he repeats, but one boy cuts him off.

“There was an accident. Last night.”

He blinks. “What?”

He goes to the teachers’ lounge and Takeda spots Kageyama first. He rushes to him and takes him by the arm.

“Ah, I suppose you have heard then - Hinata has been in an accident last night, when he was going back home. There are some bad news, but nothing for sure. He has been operated and, so…” Takeda says. “Nothing is known for sure, nothing is known for sure.”

He repeats that, and it sounds like he tries to console someone. Kageyama supposes Takeda might be doing that to console himself.

 

3.

The afternoon was empty. Or so it felt to Kageyama. There was some buzzing noise in his ears, it continued since the morning, through classes, to afternoon practice. Takeda came down to the gym then, to talk to them.

Everyone knew already, of course. There were still hundreds of questions, of course. Of course. Takeda could answer maybe three of them.

One of the questions he couldn’t answer was “Is Hinata going to be okay?”.

Takeda didn’t know. Hinata’s parents didn’t know. The doctors didn’t know. Of course.

 

4.

Kageyama doesn’t really notice when they stop asking. It kind of fades, everyone starting to forget. They don’t speak about it anymore, they don’t ask “hey, where is that little one? The one that jumped like he was about to fly?”

Their eyes still seem to search, though. They scan the court. They scan the bench. Brows furrow, and then people shake their heads - they know something is missing, but what is it? The whole team is there, right? Right?

Right?

He remembers when they played against Date Tech for the first time after the thing happened. The giant that loomed over half of the court came up to the net and asked, in a surprisingly gentle and quiet voice. “Where is Hinata?”

Kageyama, who stood in front of him, got his words tangled in his throat. He just stared at the boy on the other side of the net in silence, not really knowing what to say. Tanaka had to answer for him, after coming up to see if there was some trouble.

Tanaka was trying to look threatening, but it all disappeared when the giant repeated the question.

“It was an accident,” Tanaka said, automatically. Then he blinked, his mind catching up with his mouth. He swallowed and rubbed his forehead. “There was an accident.”

Everyone called it an accident. Kageyama called it “the thing”.

 

5.

When the next winter comes around, Kageyama pulls the scarf out from the depths of his closet. He had put it there a week after the thing, when he had realized he had no idea how he should return it to Hinata’s family.

Should he go to their home after classes? What should he say? “Yes, Hinata left it at my place when we were studying. Yes, the night the thing happened. Yes, I’m very sorry.”

_I’m sorry, I should have told him to go home sooner. I’m sorry, I should have told him not to rush and that you will understand if he is a little late._

_I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked him to come to my home at all._

_I’m sorry._

_It was my fault._

He blinks and unwinds the scarf. It’s soft.

No one really notices when he walks to school with it wrapped around his neck. No one else remembers the scarf Hinata wore last winter.

 

6.

The practice is still weird, even after two years. Like there is a spot that waits to be filled. Somehow, the first years and the second years manage to sense it, and they seem reluctant sometimes. Like there are places they are afraid to step into.

After Ennoshita graduated, Yamaguchi has taken his place as the captain. He is doing well, better than anyone, especially Yamaguchi himself, would expect. He manages to bring everyone together and holds them close. They are a flock under his wings.

Kageyama still has those moments when they win and he turns around and he stops, smile faltering because there is only thin air next to him, where he expected to see-

They aren’t as frequent as they used to be, though.

Yachi sometimes reaches for a water bottle that isn’t there. Yamaguchi frowns when he is counting the team members before practice starts. Takeda sometimes brings one form too many, when he organizes an out-of-town match.

Kageyama sometimes sees orange out of the corner of his eye. He manages to stop himself from tracking it. It’s not like Hinata could be there.

 

7.

“I’m sure you have a lot of doubts about your future, Kageyama, so take this occasion to-”

“Physical therapy,” Kageyama interrupts. The teacher seems to be taken aback.

“Come again?

“I want to study physical therapy.”

“Oh,” the teacher frowns and clears his throat. “Well, your grades… Depends where-”

“Prefectural university.”

“Oh,” the teacher repeats. He shuffles the papers on the desk and the sound reverberates in the almost empty classroom. There is only two of them in there, the teacher and Kageyama, sitting, desk separating them. The sun is low on the horizon. It’s late summer. It’s almost too late for the third years to decide on their futures.

But Kageyama has decided long ago.

“In that case-” The teacher scratches his neck.

Kageyama tunes him out. He knows everything he needs to know already. He needs two things. One is volleyball. He has that.

And he plans on having the second thing too, no matter how long it takes.

 

8.

He visits Hinata in the hospital for the second time when he is in his first year of uni.

He tried to visit once before, of course. In the second year of highschool.

He came up all the way to the door to the room, caught the glimpse of the bed and turned on his heel.

He wasn’t ready.

He wonders if he is ready now.

The plate by the door reads ‘Hinata Shouyou’. Kageyama sort of forgot how Hinata’s name looked. He sort of forgot how it sounded – he hasn’t said it out loud for months, years maybe. No one else said Hinata’s name out loud too, or maybe Kageyama just doesn’t remember.

The bed is where it was before. To the right of the door.

When Kageyama walks in, the first thing he allows himself to notice are fresh flowers on the nightstand by the bed. There are two chairs. He walks up to the one closer to the nightstand and sits down.

He still hasn’t looked. He closes his eyes and opens them again.

Shouyou looks older. Taller, even though he is lying down on the bed. Like a man, not a child. His hair is longer, his jawline more pronounced. His face is blank.

This isn’t Hinata Shouyou Kageyama remembers. This is 19 years old Hinata that Kageyama doesn’t know, never got a chance to know.

Shouyou’s eyelashes are long. There are light freckles on his nose and under the corners of his eyes. Kageyama doesn’t remember what colour Shouyou’s eyes were.

He leans in closer. Shouyou is silent, unmoving.

“Are you going to wake up or not?”

 

9.

When he rushes into the hospital a year later, when spring is in full bloom, and Hinata’s unfocused eyes fall on him, he remembers.

They were light brown. With a bit of gold, if you wanted to be romantic.

Kageyama hopes to see more of them.

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this instead of studying  
> get a grip, me
> 
> (WHY CANT I WRITE FLUFF FOR ONCE)
> 
>  
> 
> [hai-quu.tumblr.com](https://hai-quu.tumblr.com/)


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